PMS
by Princess Destiny
Summary: The Senshi all have PMS and are out of Midol. Poor Tuxedo Kamen!


**Title: PMS  
Author: Princess Destiny  
Email: In Profile  
URL: In Profile  
Couple: Usagi And Mamoru  
Rating: PG 13+  
Summary: 'One Hour Challenge' #7: Response Fanfic. The Senshi all have PMS and are out of Midol. Poor Tuxedo Kamen!  
Chapters: 1/1  
Status: Completed  
Year Completed: 2003**

**Comments:** Hi everyone! Another old Fanfic from 2003. Yep, I wrote a Fanfic a day back in that year, when I created the **'One Hour Challenges**' list and Archive. We had a lot of fun. This story is meant to be funny and is in no way to be taken seriously.

For those who have been reading my Fanfics and see the **One Hour Challenges** bit in the summary, here is the link up at the Archive. You choose a **scene** or a **sentence** (Or even a few), then you have one hour to write as much Fanfic as you can. Mostly one-shots fit into that. If you have a mult-part Fanfic, only the first Chapter need have taken an hour. There are 664 Challenges up there to date and I add more occasionally.

**destinysgateway DOT com/challenges.php  
**  
**Original Notes: **For all the guys on the list-this talks about PMS (Like you couldn't tell from the title!), so beware! It ain't pretty! I portray the women _and_ the men acting like complete psychos and loons when it comes to the monthly red terror! I'm sure no one is really this weird, but I _sure_ had fun writing it::Giggles: Umm-I've also only _heard_ of Midol, 'cause I'm Australia and we don't have it that I know of, but a name brand is a name brand hey?...Like you care, right? On with the Fanfic!

And hey, I'd love to see some of your Sailor Moon Fanfiction posted up at my Archives 'Destiny's Gateway'. I took a look yesterday and we've passed 530 Sailor Moon Fanfics. Wow. Come on over and post or read. The link is in my Profile. We would also love to see some Fanfiction for any other pairings you've written for. We are a romance Archive for 'Couples' of the Fanfiction world, so you'll most likely find every pairing you can think of there.

**Please review me! You don't know how much it means to an Author to get a review on their Fanfic and to know that you're enjoying it. Believe me, it makes us want to write more for you. LOL. **

Enjoy the Fanfic!

Hugs,  
Princess Destiny

* * *

**PMS**

**By Princess Destiny**

* * *

"Okay? Who stole my Midol?" Sailor Moon grouched as she ran with the others to the park to face the newest Youma.

"What are you talking about, Moon? That was _my_ box!" Mars growled at her, throwing her best friend a glare.

"So who stole _your_ box then?" Moon yelled back.

"It wasn't me!" Jupiter and Mercury shouted quickly, glaring at each other suspiciously.

"So it was the Midol-Fairy?" Sailor Moon snarled sarcastically.

"_Shut up_." The other three yelled back.

"I _need_ some _now_!" Sailor Moon shouted back, incensed.

"So do we, but there isn't any!" Mars shouted back.

"This Youma _so_ picked the wrong time of month to mess with us!" Jupiter bellowed, dashing on ahead to pound something.

They reached the field of battle, still bickering about who mislaid the Midol and found Zoisite and a Youma that looked like half a wolf and half a whale. Eeew!

Zoisite didn't look pleased. "About time you Sailor-Failures got here! What, did you loose your way or something?" The General yelled, crossing her arms.

"Shut up, Zoisite." The four Senshi shouted back, completely stunning the floating woman.

The Youma gaped, shifting uncertainly from foot to foot as the Senshi's battle aura's flared ominously.

"Yeah, you always shout at us. What's with that?" Jupiter demanded.

"She totally does! I'm sick of it." Mars nodded, giving Zoisite the 'evil eye'.

"I say we pound her!" Mercury yelled, cracking her knuckles.

"Get her!" Sailor Moon ordered.

The Youma and the General gaped, eyes boggling as the homicidal Senshi dove at them.

"Retreat! Retreat!" Zoisite shouted in alarm, flying out of the way of Sailor Jupiter's tackle. She suddenly had an idea of what was happening here. And if she was right-then they were _doomed_! "Get out while you can!"

"I _can't_." The Youma wailed, then was buried under the three enraged Senshi who performed belly-flops simultaneously.

"You're on your own!" Zoisite called, disappearing in a flash of pink petals.

"Chicken!" Sailor Moon screeched, punching the Youma under her in the ribs. _Hard_.

"Give me some room girls!" Jupiter ordered, running over to the others.

"No, no," The Youma yelled frantically, trying to scramble out from under the mad Senshi. "I didn't even get to say a speech!"

Like the Senshi cared? They proceeded to beat the snot out of the poor Youma before it could even blast them or something.

Kick

Smack

Punch

Clobber

Luckily it was female or it would never have bore children again.

Tuxedo Kamen arrived at the battle and his eyes boggled as he saw the four Senshi beating the crap out of a Youma. "Ugh..." he said, mouth gaping. What was going on here!

"Eat tiara," Sailor Moon suddenly yelled, ramming her glowing tiara into the Youma's mouth. "Moon Tiara Action."

The Youma actually smiled in relief as she turned to dust.

And that _really_ scared Tuxedo Kamen silly.

Sailor Moon sensed his presence and turned to look, spotting him up in a tree. "_There_ you are." she yelled, stomping over.

Tuxedo Kamen jumped down from the tree, pressing his back against the trunk and eyeing the Senshi warily as they approached him. Something was off here...he just couldn't put his finger on it.

"About time you turned up, mister!" Mercury yelled at him, glaring murderously.

Tuxedo Kamen stared at her. Quiet Mercury, glaring and shouting? What was wrong with this picture?

"Yeah. Nice to see you _finally._" Mars snarled, crossing her arms.

"We took care of it already. _Where the hell were you, Kamen_!" Jupiter finished in a roar.

The hero _refused_ to be cowered by these four girls. They'd never yelled at him! And he wasn't _that_ late. He was a man, not a mouse and nothing was going to make him tremble! "What did I do?" Tuxedo Kamen demanded, crossing his arms. "You're all like grouchy bears today!"

"Grrr." Moon, Mars and Jupiter replied, giving Tuxedo Kamen the 'look-of-death'.

"We all have PMS," Mercury replied in her normal quiet tones. But then she glared at Tuxedo Kamen heatedly. "So _stay out of my face, Kamen_!" she roared at him, stomping off.

P...M...S? Okay, _that_ could make him tremble!

Tuxedo Kamen gave all four a look of utter horror and backed off swiftly, hands out. He'd never experienced it first-hand with any of his female acquaintances, but guys at School had whispered of terrifying stories. And Motoki had told him stuff about Reika that could turn you off women for life! "Okay, okay. NO problem"

"Not so fast, Kamen" Sailor Moon said sweetly. "We're still out of Midol-_because some underhanded maniac earner my eternal wrath by stealing my only pain relief_!"

"And...?" he said tentatively, standing stock-still. If he made himself a small enough target, maybe they'd bash some other poor guy to death? He winced when he thought of the poor Youma the Dark Kingdom had sent. It never stood a change against four PMS-mad Senshi. He shook his head sadly.

"Yeah," Mars said brightly, smiling at Tuxedo Kamen. "You can go get some for us!"

Tuxedo Kamen gaped in terror, then fell over onto his butt, frozen in absolute terror. They wanted him...to buy tablets for menstrual pain?

_Him_?

Tuxedo Kamen?

Hero of all Tokyo and possibly the world?

"No way in hell am I walking into a chemist to buy you four midol!" he bellowed at them, leaping to his feet. He stood strong and tall as their smiles faded into death-glares and the very sky became overcast. He swore a tumbleweed blew past in the now-chill wind as he had a stand-off with the four hormonally-homicidal girls.

"_What was that_!" They bellowed back, seeming to loom over him.

Tuxedo Kamen faltered as they surrounded him, battle aura's beginning to glow about them. He abruptly remembered again exactly what they'd done to that poor Youma and re-thought his position. Say 'yes' and be forever humiliated throughout the world or...say 'no' and be beaten to snot by four fourteen year olds with PMS? He swallowed. His life depended on how he answered right now! "Umm-sure. I'll get your Midol." he blurted out.

At once, the Senshi were all smiles.

"Good boy." Jupiter said, slapping him on the back in a comradely way.

"Good choice." Sailor Moon said sweetly.

"Thank you!" Mercury gushed.

"My hero," Mars batted her eyelashes at him. "Because if you'd said no-"

"_We'd have to kill you_!" They screamed, emotions fluctuating again.

"Ehehe," Tuxedo Kamen said nervously. "Glad to umm-be of service."

Before the angry girls could pound him into mush, he beat a hasty retreat. Tuxedo Kamen leapt all through town swiftly, trying to spot a chemist and finally he did in mid-town. He leapt down and strode inside the store, the glass doors sliding closed again behind him.

Immediately, everyone froze in stunned amazement, gaping at him.

He stared about, realizing maybe he should have de-transformed before entering the fray. Too late now though. Keep moving, Tuxie, keep moving. His eyes flittered nervously from side to side as he edged down the isle to the back counter, people's stares boring holes through him. Okay, so they were shocked and incredulous and maybe thinking they're hallucinating, but did they have to _gape_ so much? What, they'd never seen a super hero in a chemist before!

As Tuxedo Kamen got a meter or so from the back counter, the three women Chemists behind it stopped what they were doing and _stared_. The whole gaping mouth, boggling eyes deal that he'd gotten all through the rest of the store.

"Can-can I er-help you?" One of the women asked, recovering her wits. She smiled professionally, as if she saw this sort of thing every day. Yeah right!

The other two women continued with their gaping. From the rest of the store, there was nothing. And the stunned fish-act was really getting to him.

"Midol," he muttered under his breath, leaning in close to the woman and staring at her urgently.

"What was that, Tuxedo Kamen?" The woman asked, leaning in close also.

"Midol please." he hissed a little louder, eyes becoming alarmed behind the white half-mask. Was she _deaf_ or something! If he said it louder, he'd be done-for!

"Pardon? I'm a little deaf." she admitted sheepishly, cocking an ear towards him.

Tuxedo Kamen gaped at her, totally stumped. Out of all the attendants in the store he got _the deaf one_! "Midol!" he fairly roared at her, slamming a hand down on the counter in frustration. "I need Midol, okay? Okay!"

The silence, which had been astonished and yes stunned, turned utterly poleaxed. Practically catatonic. Every eye in the store had turned his way, complete with gaping mouth, goggling eyes and gasps.

He was so _dead_! His career was over. He might as well turn in his cloak right now. Tuxedo Kamen slapped a hand to his forehead and turned to cast weary eyes about the store. "The Senshi have PMS," he groaned at them, seeking out the males with their wives and daughters. Seeking understanding. "They _orderered_ me! They were _dangerous_!"

Several men and boys nodded at him in understanding, giving smiles and sympathetic looks. Several comments floated his way from his fellow men. Men in arms and all that! They stood as one against the hordes of hormonal women of the world! Yes! It was a beautiful sight to see that he wasn't alone in his suffering!

"Poor guy."

"I hear ya buddy!"

"I understand _completely_."

"I'm praying for you!"

"I hope he comes back in one piece."

Smack

"Sorry dear."

"Thank you, my friends! We men must stick together in such times of hardship and bear with our women-folk and their homicidal stints once a month" The hero told them magnanimously, bowing. Tuxedo Kamen turned back to the counter, smiling in triumph. No longer alone...and met the heated glares of the three women Chemists. Oh dear.

"You wanted Midol!" The woman who'd been serving him demanded, eyes narrowing.

Uh oh. It looked as if women who weren't experiencing PMS were also dangerous creatures and didn't take kindly to the 'men in arms' comments.

Another of the three Chemists pegged a box at his head.

Thunk

It bounced off, landing on the counter in front of him. Triumph! The word 'Midol' jumped out at him.

"So kind." Tuxedo Kamen said dryly, refusing to rub his forehead where it was now hurting. He just hoped the box hadn't hit him side-on and imbedded the word 'Midol' in his forehead. That would just _make_ his day! Walking through Juuban like a advertising board! He reached into his sub-space pocket and removed his wallet. Luckily he kept two, just for emergencies like this. He pulled out a twenty and looked up...the three Chemists were gaping at him in awe.

Ah ha! "Keep the change." he said seductively, throwing them the 'look of manly charm'. It made women weak at the knees and it didn't fail him now.

"Have a nice day!" The three cooed at him, blushing.

Tuxedo Kamen grinned and turned about, clutching the Midol. About twenty women and girls were glaring murder at him, still steamed about his comments earlier and that of their men-folk. The men-folk looked duly chastised and avoided Tuxedo Kamen's eyes, least they bring the wrath of women-kind down upon their heads yet again.

"Cowards." he muttered under his breath, edging down the isle carefully, eyes flittering every-which-way for potential threat. There were plenty of weapons about. Boxes of all sizes, those plastic jars with the vitamins, hand bags, lethal high-heels...Tuxedo Kamen reached the sliding doors and bolted outside, breathing a deep sigh of relief. It was almost over! Be strong man!

Tuxedo Kamen swiftly put the box inside his cloak before anyone on the sidewalk could stare past him face in shock to see just what he'd been doing in the chemist. He dashed all through town and back to the park where the girls were waiting.

Four glares met him startled gaze.

"Okay! Where is it?" Sailor Moon demanded, shooting out a gloved hand.

"Come on! Come on." Mercury snapped.

"You better not have chickened out, Kamen." Jupiter snarled at him, cracking her knuckles.

"Hey, is that a dent in your forehead?" Mars said, tapping an impatient foot. "Okay, enough about you-where's the goods!" she yelled.

"Here! Here! I got i." Tuxedo Kamen said urgently, hands diving into his cloak for the 'magical box that would make things all better'.

Immediately, the Senshi's glares faded and all four beamed at him happily.

"You _got_ it." Mars squealed, throwing herself at him. She kissed him soundly and grabbed the box eagerly.

"You wonderful guy, you!" Jupiter shrieked, dashing over to kiss him too.

"You did the right thing." Mercury yelled, giving him a quick kiss also.

"_My hero_!" Sailor Moon shouted in delight, throwing herself into his arms. She pressed her lips to his, then deepened it passionately as he responded.

Tuxedo Kamen was in heaven! His angel was kissing him just like he'd always wished! And boy was he enjoying it. When she pulled back, he was very disappointed, but tried not give her a longing look. He also tried to decide whether he wanted to be around the PMS'ing girls next month-just in case she kissed him again. To smooch or not to smooch?

Then suddenly, the Senshi's moods swung again. Their eyes darkened and their bosom's swelled with indignation and righteous wrath.

"_You pervert_!" They screamed at him, hands flying out in outrage. Tuxedo Kamen stood there, accepting as three gloved hands smacked him silly. He sighed and took it, hoping for the Dark Kingdom's sake that they weren't dumb enough to throw another Youma at the Senshi before a week was up.

"Are you going to hit me too?" he asked Sailor Moon, hoping that she wouldn't hit him too. _Her_ kiss had been amazing! Mind-blowing. And where the _hell_ had she learnt to slip the tongue like that?

"Yes." she responded, glaring. Her arms swung out and she slapped him hard.

"Ouch." Tuxedo Kamen winced and looked at his angel.

Sailor Moon's glare dissolved and her big blue eyes filled with apologetic tears. "My poor Tuxedo Kamen," she wailed, throwing herself into his arms again. "How could I hit you? I'm such a bad person!" she sobbed into his shoulder.

Tuxedo Kamen smiled and wrapped his arms about Sailor Moon tightly. Then, he happened to look at the other Senshi. Oh crap! Three pairs of eyes stared at him tearfully, lips trembling.

"Tuxedo Kamen! We're _bad_ people!" They all wailed, throwing themselves at him and group-hugging the startled hero.

He let them hug him, pressing Sailor Moon more firmly into his arms and grinned. These girls weren't so bad! What was he thinking? They were just fourteen year olds, having trouble with their hormones. He was going to be a Doctor, after all, and would probably see this all the time!

"Okay," Mercury ordered, breaking away from the others. "Lets get this Midol into us."

"Right!" Mars and Jupiter yelled, breaking away also and saluting Mercury.

Sailor Moon pulled back and stared up at Tuxedo Kamen shyly. "Can I kiss you again?" she asked tentatively.

"No," Tuxedo Kamen purred back, watching her face fall with glee. "_I'm_ going to kiss _you._" he announced, then swooped in and claimed her lips. He was soon in heaven again and only half-heard when the other Senshi went dead quiet.

The sky's darkened again and the wind blew chilly as the Senshi glared ominously at the hero, who was smooching their Leader silly.

"Where's the _water_, Tuxedo Kamen? I can't take my Midol without water!" Mars shouted wrathfully.

"_Tuxedo Kamen you moron_!" Jupiter and Mercury shrieked at him in outrage.

Tuxedo Kamen winced, keeping his lips locked to Sailor Moon's as she stiffened in his arms, ready to pound him along with the other girls. He'd forgotten water! Oh crap!

**The End**

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Write me if you liked! Comments are adored and much appreciated.

Well, that's it. I'll have some more of my old one-shot OHC's out as soon as I can edit them.

Please don't forget to check out my Archives '**Destiny's Gateway Romance Fanfiction Archives**'. We're a 'Couples' Fanfiction Archive, pure romance in any rating and always with a happy ending. Our Sailor Moon section is quite extensive and growing daily. We would love you to come on over and have a read and even submit your own Fanfiction there. :) The link can be found in my Profile, so just click on my pen name above this Chapter and come on over. All of my Fanfiction is up there, and I've written over 130 Fanfics.

Hugs,  
Princess Destiny


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